For a Smoother Divorce Stop the Blaming Start Healing
Posted on Mar 18, 2013 12:00am PDT
Many readers -- living in Georgia and elsewhere -- often think of mounting
financial decisions and property division when they think of divorce.
However, divorce often involves much more than discussing who gets the
blender and who must pay child support. Divorcing individuals may also
experience emotional stress and blame from those closest to them.
In a divorce, friends and family of the divorcing individual may provide
reasons for why the marriage failed. Many times, these reasons put the
blame on one individual; this is often called "victim blaming"
in a divorce. Any assumptions or accusations can be hurtful, from claiming
one spouse nagged the other too much, to saying a former partners "let
themselves go." This blame game often begins between the spouses,
as the couple begins the divorce process. However, blaming can distract
divorcing individuals from the healing process often required to overcome
the emotional components of divorce.
In Georgia, divorcing couples typically have a few options for creating
an agreement on divorce matters, such as child support, child custody,
property division and alimony. Couples may enter into an informal process
in which they negotiate with one another, often in the presence of their
attorneys, through an out-of-court method such as alternative dispute
resolution. An ADR process, such as mediation, often encourages couples
to be a part of the decision making process. If couples are unable to
come to an agreement, they may seek an order from the court.
Divorces may be contentious and aggravating for some couples, especially
when former spouses participate in blaming each other and themselves for
the breakup of their marriage. However, acting cooperatively and with
respect may quicken the divorce process and allow divorcing individuals
to heal their emotional wounds.