For a Smoother Divorce Stop the Blaming Start Healing


Many readers -- living in Georgia and elsewhere -- often think of mounting financial decisions and property division when they think of divorce. However, divorce often involves much more than discussing who gets the blender and who must pay child support. Divorcing individuals may also experience emotional stress and blame from those closest to them.

In a divorce, friends and family of the divorcing individual may provide reasons for why the marriage failed. Many times, these reasons put the blame on one individual; this is often called "victim blaming" in a divorce. Any assumptions or accusations can be hurtful, from claiming one spouse nagged the other too much, to saying a former partners "let themselves go." This blame game often begins between the spouses, as the couple begins the divorce process. However, blaming can distract divorcing individuals from the healing process often required to overcome the emotional components of divorce.

In Georgia, divorcing couples typically have a few options for creating an agreement on divorce matters, such as child support, child custody, property division and alimony. Couples may enter into an informal process in which they negotiate with one another, often in the presence of their attorneys, through an out-of-court method such as alternative dispute resolution. An ADR process, such as mediation, often encourages couples to be a part of the decision making process. If couples are unable to come to an agreement, they may seek an order from the court.

Divorces may be contentious and aggravating for some couples, especially when former spouses participate in blaming each other and themselves for the breakup of their marriage. However, acting cooperatively and with respect may quicken the divorce process and allow divorcing individuals to heal their emotional wounds.

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